Wednesday, October 22, 2014

[Carl Jung's experience(s) with Loneliness]

[Carl Jung's experience(s) with Loneliness]

Knowledge of processes in the background early shaped my relationship to the world. Basically, that relationship was the same in my childhood as it is to this day.

As a child I felt myself to be alone, and I am still, because I know things and must hint at things which others apparently know nothing of, and for the most part do not want to know.

Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.

The loneliness began with the experiences of my early dreams, and reached its climax at the time I was working on the unconscious.
If a man knows more than others, he becomes lonely.

But loneliness is not necessarily inimical to companionship, for no one is more sensitive to companionship than the lonely man, and companionship thrives only when each individual remembers his individuality and does not identify himself with others. ~Carl Jung, Memories Dreams and Reflections, Page 356.

This un-childlike behavior was connected on the one hand with an intense sensitivity and vulnerability, on the other hand--and this especially--with the loneliness of my early youth. (My sister was born nine years after me.) I played alone, and in my own way.

Unfortunately I cannot remember what I played; I recall only that I did not want to be disturbed. I was deeply absorbed in my games and could not endure being watched or judged while I played them.

My first concrete memory of games dates from my seventh or eighth year. I was passionately fond of playing with bricks, and built towers which I then rapturously destroyed by an "earthquake." Between my eighth and eleventh years I drew endlessly--battle pictures, sieges, bombardments, naval engagements.

Then I filled a whole exercise book with ink blots and amused myself giving them fantastic interpretations. One of my reasons for liking school was that there I found at last the playmates I had lacked for so long. ~Carl Jung, Memories Dreams and Reflections, Page 18.

It would never have occurred to me to speak of my experience openly, nor of my dream of the phallus in the underground temple, nor of my carved manikin. As a matter of fact, I did not say anything about the phallus dream until I was sixty-five.

I may have spoken about the other experiences to my wife, but only in later years. A strict taboo hung over all these matters, inherited from my childhood. I could never have talked about them with friends.

My entire youth can be understood in terms of this secret. It induced in me an almost unendurable loneliness. My one great achievement during those years was that I resisted the temptation to talk about it with anyone.

Thus the pattern of my relationship to the world was already prefigured: today as then I am a solitary, because I know things and must hint at things which other people do not know, and usually do not; even want to know. ~Carl Jung, Memories Dreams and Reflections. Page 42.

The consequence of my resolve, and my involvement with things which neither I nor anyone else could understand, was an extreme loneliness.

I was going about laden with thoughts of which I could speak to no one: they would only have been misunderstood.

I felt the gulf between the external world and the interior world of images in its most painful form.

I could not yet see that interaction of both worlds which I now understand. I saw only an irreconcilable contradiction between "inner" and "outer." ~Carl Jung, Memories Dreams and Reflections, Page 194.

Carl Jung references to the "Blue Star" in The Red Book.

[Carl Jung references to the "Blue Star" in The Red Book.]

I saw you, Oh DIAHMON, at the noonday hour when the sun stood highest; you stood speaking with a blue shade, blood stuck to its forehead and solemn torment darkened it.

But life is duration, the flame dies away. I carried that over, I saved it from the fire. That is the son of the fire flower. You saw that in me, I myself am of the eternal fire of light. But I am the one who saved it for you, the black and golden seed and its blue starlight.

But I said to him, "Illustrious one, when will you give me the dark and golden treasure and its blue starlight?" DIAHMON replied, "When you have surrendered everything
that wants to burn to the holy flame." ~Carl Jung, The Red Book, Page 354.

[Soul:] "Now let us try this: it is something of the golden bird. It is not the white bird, but the golden one. It is different. The white bird is a good daimon, but the golden one is above you and under your God. It flies ahead of you. I see it in the blue ether, flying toward the star. It is something that is part of you. And it is at once its own egg, containing you. ~The Red Book, Footnote 125, Page 354

It was noon on a hot summer's day and I was taking a stroll in my garden; when I reached the shade of the high trees, I met IAHMQN strolling in the fragrant grass. But when I sought to approach him, a blue shade came from the other side, and when DIAHMQN saw him, he said, "I find you in the garden, beloved. The sins of the world have conferred beauty upon your countenance. ~Carl Jung, The Red Book, Page 359.

Just like the sun, which is also such a star, which is a God and grandfather of souls, the star of the individual is also like the sun, a God and grandfather of the souls. He is visible from time to time, just as I have described him. His light is blue, like that of a distant star. He is far out in space, cold and solitary, since he is beyond death. To attain individuality, we need a large share of death. ~Carl Jung’s Soul, The Red Book, Appendix C, Page 371.

Only by living life can you free yourself from it. So live it to such a degree that it befits you. To the degree that you live it, you also fall victim to the power of Abraxas and his dreadful deceptions. But to the same degree the star God in you gains in longing and power, in that the fruit of deception and human disappointment falls to him. Pain and disappointment fill the world of Abraxas with coldness, all of your life's warmth slowly sinks into the depths of your soul, into the midpoint of man, where the far blue starlight of your one God glimmers. ~Carl Jung’s Soul, The Red Book, Appendix C, Page 371.

If you flee Abraxas from fear, you escape pain and disappointment and you remain terrified, that is, out of unconscious love you cling to Abraxas and your one God cannot catch fire. But through pain and disappointment you redeem yourself since your longing then falls of its own accord like a ripe fruit into the depths, following gravity, striving toward the midpoint, where the blue light of the star God arises. ~Carl Jung’s Soul, The Red Book, Appendix C, Page 371.

You should call me if you want to live with men, but the one God if you want to rise above the human world to the divine and eternal solitude of the star. ~Carl Jung’s Soul, The Red Book, Appendix C, Page 371